Top 6 Idiots Of 2003
Number One Idiot of 2003
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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the Emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747’s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after, they took
it for a float on the river. After a while they noticed a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch, selected a deposit slip and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone might have seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not
accept his stick-up note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Number Four Idiot of 2003
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from
the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number 5 idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to
put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
"Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.